Marley and Me!!

Welcome everyone the newest little audition to the Lange family!! He is a mini Yorkshire mixed with a mini poodle! He is about 6months old and as big as he is most likely going to get! I am so thankful for the people who decide he was not a fit in their family and gave him to me!! I brought him home yesterday May 28 and his frist night with us went well. ~Love The Lange's

To Small

The tests today were nothing like I thought they would be!! They did an ultrasound first and then I had the HSG done. I was told that HSG was painful,but it wasn't at all. They got both tests done in like an hour or so. They called doctor at home and he said that from the results he got I would need to come back on Tuesday for another ultrasound. The reason I need to come back is because there was egg development but they were to small. He is hoping over the weekend they will grow a little bit bigger so that we can take the other shot to start ovulation. I REALLY REALLY hope that it is to early and the eggs do grow. The good thing is that there were eggs there today! :-)

I hope everyone has a safe and fun memorial day weekend!! I will be posting something on Tuesday after my ultrasound. ~Love The Lange's

Leaving A Comment

I really love when people leave me comments on my blog postings. I feel sooo blessed to know that people take a few minute out of their busy day to look at our blog. So I want to Thank all of you for doing that it really means a lot to us. We have had everyone from close friends and family to people we knew from high school contact us. I will be honest I was not sure about this hole 'Blog' thing at first,but I am sure glad I decided to do it. I blessed to have enough courage to share my story with everyone. I feel almost free after I publish a posting, it is a relief to get it off my chest and not keep it bottled up inside.

In deciding to make this blog i knew it would be an easy way for everyone to keep up to date with everything that is going on in our journey. I knew that it would be fine for me to give details and feel comfortable to share our story with out hiding anything. The hole point behind this was to say whatever I wanted to say and share the feeling I may have on any given day.

I almost feel sad for the person who decided it would be a good idea to leave me a negative comment on my last posting. If you have an option that is completely fine, but this is MY blog to say and share whatever I feel or think. The only problem I have is that they decided to be "Anonymous" and not have enough guts to sign their name to the comment. I really wanted this blog to be a positive thing in my life. So in the future if you decide you don't like what I have to say, then maybe just not read the blog anymore or keep your negative comments to yourself. Like we learned in grade school "If you don't have nothing nice to say... than don't say anything at all!!!!"

So please please keep the positive comments coming we really enjoy them!! I hope that I don't have to end up making this blog a "private" blog. That won't be fair to the people who enjoy share in our journey with us. I was also going to tell you all that I will be going to the doctor to have the testing done that I talked about in a few postings back. If everyone could keep us in their prayers and thoughts on Thursday that would be great!! ~Love The Lange's

PINHEADS

I can now laugh at this story I am about to tell all of you. At first I was not so happy about this situation but now when I look back I am just amazed at the dumbness of some people.

The doctor sent in a prescription to the Litchfield Walmart Pharmacy for three shots on Tuesday after my appointment. I was told that the shots that I needed they wouldn't have on hand, and would need to be shipped over night from somewhere in the cities. On Tuesday evening when I got home from the doctor I called the pharmacy to see how much everything was going to coast. I knew that it was going to be a little bit pricey. The doctor didn't want me to run the prescriptions though insurance. The reason being that the insurance company will only cover 1 prescription. So weather the prescription is 1 shot or 20 shots they will only cover 1 prescription. So we would rather pay out of pocket this time for 3 shots and in hopes it works. If the shots work but we didn't conceive, then he can give us a prescription for 20 shots and the insurance would pick that prescription up!!!! I would rather pay for 3 shots then 20 shots. I really hope that is just works this first time!!(keeping my fingers crossed) So the amount they told me was $300.00 for all three shot.

On Wednesday morning I went to the pharmacy to get them and they had not arrived yet. So I went to work and went back after I got out of work. When my mother and I got there they had them all ready for me. They give me this BIG bag of stuff and I kind of thought it was weird but didn't say anything. The lady rang everything up and we paid and went on our marry way though Walmart. My mom decide to try some shorts on and I took a sit on the bench. I then opened the bag and took out this big box. I opened the box and looked inside and there were 10 shots in each box,I had 2 boxes. My mom came out of the fitting room and I said "Mom...This is not right...I am only suppose to have 3 shots not 20?!?!?!" So we went back to the pharmacy, I told them that this was not right. They looked at me like a deer in the headlights. The man working said "What do you mean it isn't right?" I said "I am only suppose to have 3 shots and there are 2 boxes with 10 shot in each box!!!" In the mean time I had tried to call the doctor, but of course they were in surgery that day. I told the man "I want my money back and I will have the doctor call you tomorrow!!" They gave me my money back...and I was pissed off when I left there. I mean REALLY people don't you know how to do your job???? I think if I did my job half-assed like that I would get fired. I am sure glad I knew what I was suppose to be getting and that the doctor makes sure you understand what is going on before you leave his office.

This morning the doctor called me. He said "Vanessa are there any other pharmacies in Litchfield??" I said "Yes,why?" He then told me "I will not be sending prescriptions for you or anyone that i see to the Walmart ever again!!" I was shocked to hear that and said okay. I know Walmart doesn't have the most friendly people working there but they are cheapest place in town. He then told me "They have some really PINHEADS working there!!" I started to laugh in amazement that he would say that. We finally got it all figured out and I got my shots but not from Litchfield I had to drive to Willmar this afternoon to get them. So I really really hope they work!!

The point of story besides being kind of funny, is that WALMART PHARMACY is STUPID!! I will no longer being going there. Thank God that I didn't leave the store with these shots and was able to get my money back. I would love it if you guys could keep us in your prayers this coming week in hopes that this actually works for us. ~Love The Lange's

50/50 Chance!!

The appointment today went alright I guess. I was told today the next step we are going to try had a good chance of working 50/50. I don't want to get my hopes up to high just to be let down in the end. As far as i know we could be the 50% that it doesn't work for.

I will be taking the "trial pill" again this month along with a shot. I will take the pill for five days and then take the shot on fifth day with the last dose of pills. The shot is $250.00 and it is suppose to produce the eggs.

I will also be having a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram)! In a nut shell means they will be taking a dyed x-ray of my uterus and fallopian tubes. This way they will be able to tell if the eggs were produced.

If the eggs were produced I will need to give my self another shot to get them active. If all goes as planned (keeping fingers crossed) on Memorial Day Tuna and I will be going in to have the IUI done.

I think that I said what the IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) was but can't remember! They thread a very thin flexible catheter though my cervix and inject the sperm directly into my uterus. Then with a lot of praying hopefully a baby will start to grow!!!!

I am soooooooo thankful for such a nice doctor to come in on memorial day to do all of this for us. He gave us his home number just in case we have any question over the long holiday weekend. This is coming from a doctor who see around 50-75 people a day! As always keep us in your thoughts and prayers!! ~Love The Lange's

Dreams

Some dream of big houses

or shiny new cars.

Our is to someday hold a baby

that's ours.

Some dream of more money

to hoard and to keep.

Mine is to someday

rock my baby to sleep.

Some dream of careers

in building so tall.

His is to someday

toss his kid a baseball.

Some dream of great power

to be strong and tough.

Our is to someday

have a child to love.

Some dream of thing

such as silver and gold.

Our is of the day

our child we'll hold.

Someone who is anonymous sent me this poem. I LOVE it so much!! Thank you who ever you are. It is sooooo nice!! I will be going to the doc on the 18th, so until then!! ~Love The Lange's

Mixed-Emotions



I finally got the call from the nurse yesterday!! Emotions were running though my body the hole phone call. I could feel my heart pumping, my voice shaking, and my nerves bunched in my stomach. The news that I had been waiting days to hear were on the tip of her tongue. She finally spit it out..."Doc. Bucannon said that the IUI IS an option for you guys but, there are a few restrictions!" My first thought was 'of course there are restrictions..does anything ever go the way we want??'






I will be going to the Doctor again on May,18 to see what all the restrictions are and how this hole thing works. All I know is that I have to have an X-Ray and Ultrasounds to see if my Fallopian Tubes are able to release the eggs properly. If the tubes are blocked which is common in PCOS, they will have to do a drilling to open them up. So hopefully everything will be fine and work our way for once. So the mixed emotions are in full peak, kind of like the allergy season!! My thoughts and body this past week have been numb. The feeling of not having a complete family weighs VERY heavy on me. We are sooo ready to have a baby and are deserving of one!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as always! ~ Love The Lange's

Fertility Jewelry?!?!?!

On the TLC's 'A Baby Story' the other day, there was a lady who had some infertility issues. The couple had been trying to conceive a baby for over two years with no luck. They said that they had received a fertility bracelet from a member of the family. They swear up and down that the fertility bracelet had made them fertile and they were pregnant with in 5 months!

This peaked my interest, so I decided to do a little searching on the net to see what i could find. Almost all the sites I looked at had bracelets and necklaces that were the beaded type(not my style) of jewelry!! After looking for some time I did find a few things that I liked. I found a necklace that I really really like. I think it is very interesting and different, just like me. The little moonstones are suppose to be enhances feminine energies!!(helping with fertility) The moonstones are clustered together with the thought of eggs inside of ovary! I am not sure how much truth is behind jewelry helping with fertility,but hey what does it hurt to try!!

The second thing I found was a bracelet, I am not much of the bracelet wearing type. I found this bracelet to be very nice looking and something that I would actually wear. It has to little rose quartz gem which is said to help promote and support a new pregnancy and protect the tender new life from miscarriage. Also to balance our emotions through an often tough journey to conceive a much wanted baby. There is also a little blue moonstone gem and a little sea turtle gem. The little sea turtle is symbol of fertility and protection. A small little touch that I like as well is, there is a small sliver tag that is able to be customised to say whatever you want. One of the examples they give would be "fertility blessings" which would be supper cute and very neat.

I also was going to tell you guys that I should be hearing from the doctor tomorrow (Thursday) to see what he has to say about the IUI. I hope that he has some good news for us and tells us that is a option. If you have any thoughts on the jewelry or know of anyone who wears it, be sure to let me know about their stories. As always keep us in your thoughts and prayer!! ~Love The Lange's

ZOMBIE

This past weekend I feel like i have been walking around like a zombie numb to the world. I know that so many of you have reached out to me and offered support,but I still feel like I am very much ALONE. I know that Tuna is scared and worried just as much as I am, but he doesn't really know what to say when I have my moments of "falling apart."

I had the courage to contact someone that I didn't know all that well really and ask her about their journey with infertility. I was told that you could have a different operation done call IUI(Intra-Uterine Insemination) or also called artificial insemination. The coast to have this done is WAY less and insurance might cover some of this. I really hope this is an option for us.

I tried to call the doctor this morning to see if the IUI may be an option for us. But I am not really sure yet. He was of course out of the office today, so the nurse will be calling me tomorrow sometime. I really hope that I can get some answers really soon. If the IUI is not an option, I will be asking for a referral to the In-Vitro Fertilization clinic.

I will be posting something tomorrow if I hear back from the doctor. I really hope i can get some positive answers tomorrow. Again please keep us in your prayers and thoughts. ~Love The Lange's

THE NEXT STEPS

I know I said that I would post something on Friday after my appointment, but it was not a great day yesterday! I went to the doctor knowing that I would more then likely end up leaving there upset. At the visit I was given a few different options that I could pick from. The doctor told me that the NEXT STEPS were going to be very hard for me to choose from. I was so happy to have the support of my mother and mother-in-law with me at this appointment.

The 1st choice that he gave us was to try a series of shots. These shots are VERY high risk and he wouldn't recommend doing them,but are still and option. With these shots your chance of having multiples is increased by 65%-70% which can cause many complications. It can also become pricey and in most cases not give you the end result you want. The coast of the series of shots are about $300.00 a piece and you could need to take up to 15 of the shots. Insurance will cover 5-7 of the shots. Tuna and I have decided that this is not the best option for us. It is VERY high risk and I am already considered high risk due to my high blood pressure,PCOS, and being over weight.

The 2nd option he gave us was to keep taking the clomid and on the last day of clomid for the month take a 'minni' shot to bust the chances of the clomid working the next month!! In his words "This has a VERY VERY poor chance of working!" The coast would be $600.00 out of pocket for the shot,plus the coast of clomid for another month! So we have decided that this option is pretty much like taking 6 $100.00 bills and letting them go in the wind! I don't know about you..but I don't just have $600.00 to let go.

The 3rd option pushed me over board!!!!!! IN-VITRO FERTILIZATION!! This is a TOTAL out of pocket coast of around $10,000-$25,000(which may be refundable,if it doesn't work). When those numbers came out of his mouth,I lost it right then and there!! For those of you who don't know what in-vitro fertilization entails..they start by giving you self-injections of medication to produce many eggs. The eggs are then taken out by a small needle and they fertilize with sperm and hopes they marry with in 2-3 days. When they find one or two of them that have "married" they go back in and implant them in my uterus in hopes they will start to grow!

I asked the doctor what he thought the best choice was. He told me "the in-vitro fertilization is the best choice,but i have the money to do it." So as of right now we really have not decided what we are going to do. But in the next coming weeks I will be call my insurance and seeing what they all over. I am hoping that my insurance will cover at least a consultation at the in-vitro clinic.

I will be keep everyone up to date about our feeling on all of these new changes in our journey. I hope with in the next month or so we can get this all figured out and see what the coast of everything will be and what kind of financial plans the clinics offer. I also will be trying very hard to go out of my comfort zone and contacting other women who have had in-vitro done. Please continue to pray for us to have the strength to reach out to other and to help us make the right decisions!! ~Love The Lange's