New News

I know I know it has been a LONG time since I last posted

something!! ;-(

As many of you may or may not know Tuna and I are going though a rough patch in our marriage right now. So we hope that everyone will pray for us to work though the issues we are having. I have faith that everything will end up just fine and we will continue on with our life and be the happy couple that we have always been.

Maybe this is a blessing in its self to let my body relax and not worry about the whole "baby thing" right now. I feel like maybe my body needs a little time to just be on a break from all the stress that I have been putting on it in that last year. I can only hope and pray that this Holiday season brings us what we so badly have been wanting for years now.

I hope that everyone has a safe and happy Holiday season. As always keep us in your prayers though this time in our life!! ~Love The Lange's

your prayers and thoughts!! ~Love The Lange's

xt week will be helpful in keeping my mind off of this stuff and maybe just maybe when I get back...the test will say "PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!"

As always keep us on

will take a pregnancy test in a few weeks. I hope and pray that we actually we be granted the gift we have been longing for! My vacation to California this ne

OMG (O My God)

The doctor today went better then I EVER thought it would. We did a blood test and found out that I DID ovulate. So now it is a waiting game. I

TICK-TOCK ON THE CLOCK

I know it has been sometime since I last posted!! :( The time just tick-tocks on the clock as I sit here wondering and waiting. This last month I was pretty excited to think that the surgery had actually worked,but sadly it turned out to be nothing. I thought for sure that my period was actually going to come. I honestly feel like I thought/worried about it to much and it completely stopped it for fully coming.

I will return to the doctor on October,14 to see what the next steps will be. I am hoping that October will be the month my period comes and I don't have to worry about the next steps. I think that maybe the chances are pretty good considering that something happened in September but not fully. So with a little hope and prayer it might just actually fully come and I will rejoice and celebrate like no other.

Keep us in your prayers and thoughts!! Maybe God will work his wonders and grant us with the gift of a child that we SO badly want!! ~Love The Lange's

Time goes by so slowly!

The time seems to just move by so slowly as I sit here and wait for something to happen! I wonder to myself...why wont my body just work normally? I am at the point in this journey now that I hate to even talk about it to people! Most people don't know what to say to me anymore. I almost feel like people are getting sick and tired of me talking about it all the time. I just cant help but think about 24-7!

I know somewhere along this road I have lost myself! I am so wrapped up in what is going on with all this infertility stuff I feel like I lost the real Vanessa! I feel alone and helpless!!! I also know that people say that they are there for me..but EVERYONE has there own problems to deal with!

I try to keep this prayer in the back of my head all the time..even when times are tough I have to always remember that God has a plan!!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did,this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

As always please pray for us in this journey we take each and everyday!~ Love The Lange's

Frustrating

The amount of disappointment that I have is at an all time high for sure! There was and 80% chance that the surgery I had would make me have my cycle on my own and hopefully ovulate. Do you think we would be in that 80% chance...OF COURSE NOT!!

I have felt a few time that maybe I was going to get my cycle but then it never came. So my only hope that I have left is that I will get it in the month of September!!

I keep my fingers crossed and pray everyday that God will grant me with a blessing next month!

I will be returning to the doctor in October to let him know weather or not I got my cycle. If I don't get it in the month of September, then we know that the surgery was a flop! We will be looking at the next times at that time. I was really really hoping I wouldn't have to do that next steps. But there is still hope and I shouldn't stress my self and my body out of the unknown just yet.

I hope that everyone has enjoyed there summer! As sad as it may be summer is coming to a close very soon and before we know it that white fluffy stuff will be falling from the sky!!

As always thanks for everyone who keeps up with this blog and keep us in their prayers!! ~Love The Langes

The love grows everyday!

When I think of him my heart flutters a thousand times over.

His heart is so tender.

His mind is so beautiful.

The love that he give is unbelievable.

I treasure each and every minute with him.

He is my support system.

He is my world.

I can tell him anything and not be ashamed.

I couldn't be on this journey with anyone else.

He holds me so tenderly in my falling apart moments.

October will be 4 year.

4 years of bliss.

I LOVE YOU BABE!

As corny as it maybe..I honestly couldn't do this with out him or my family and friends.

~The Lange Family

Ready

My body and mind are ready to be finish with all the stress that this process has brought to me.

My incisions are finally all healed up and I am back to normal. I dream that by October I have gotten my period on my own and am pregnant!! I am not sure that I should get my goal so high to maybe just be let down in the end!! I just really have faith that this surgery will work out for us. I now know that everything inside my body looks good, so it is just a matter of actually getting my period on my own now.

I received letter from the doctor on Wednesday! It read...."Dear Vanessa: The Laparoscopy showed classic polycystic ovaries. Each ovaries was drilled ten times. No other abnormalities were present in the pelvis. We were able to inject dye and demonstrate both tubes were normal with free spilling of dye. Hopefully this will establish a normal cycles over the next three months. See you in October."

I thought it was nice of him to send us a letter to let us know everything was good and to wish us luck that it works out. I was surprised to know that each ovaries was drilled TEN times. I thought it was ten total, my poor ovaries, no wonder I was in so much pain. I think to myself how little the ovaries really are, they must look like Swiss cheese now.

This month is my birthday month so as I blow out my candles on my cake this year I am only wishing for one thing. THAT GOD BLESSES US WITH A CHILD!! I have faith he will do it on his own time and hopefully this is the right time. I was thinking to myself "What women actually wishes to get her period??" LOL!!! Me I guess!!

On a little side note...I know that there are like 100-150 people who look at my blog each time I post something! I would really like to know who is all looking..but there is no way of knowing this. So I was wondering if you wont mind signing your name to this posting or leaving a comment so I know who is look and I am not waisting my time writing this blog?!?!? If you don't feel comfortable with me knowing that is fine too...Just thought it would be nice to know who our followers are!! Thank You!!!!

As always keep us in your thoughts and prayers!! ~Love The Lange's

3 little incisions

3 little incisions seem like nothing..haha..was I wrong! I went to the surgery center on Wednesday nervous as can be praying and hope this all works out for us. The nervous grow strong and strong as I sat there waiting for the doctor to come. (who was hour late) The time came for me to walk my little nervous butt in the room and lay on the bed and hope everything was going to be A okay! Surgery was great it took about 2 hours from the time they started until the time we left there. Everything looked great and they drilled about 5 different spot in each ovary! The picture below is and idea of what they did!! (sorry if you have a weak tummy)

I woke up crabby (who would have thought) and kind of snippy with the poor nurse. She said to me "Vanessa can you open your eyes now,it is time to have something drink." I said to her "Well yea I can open my eyes..but I don't want to!" I also thought I would be a good idea in my dazed moments to let her know that the stickers for the heart monitor HURT when you pulled them off a "fat girl!!!!"

We were on our home after about an hour for sipping on some juice and listening to the nurse tell us what to do when we get home and showing us the pictures of what they had done for the day! Thursday and Friday were kind of a blur to me, I would fall asleep with someone talking to me. Marley(our dog) and I took many naps though out the day!

I started to get a little nervous on Friday that I was running out of pain pills and I still had the whole weekend left. So I called the nurse and she told me that I was suppose to be switching Motrin and the pain med every other time. Well I guess when I have a child someone other then Tuna will have to be in there listing to what they say. I always thought that he just blocked me out when I talk!! hahaha...JK!!

Sunday everything was starting to feel really good..I had not taken any meds for the day. I was going to see how the day went because I was suppose to go back to work on Monday night. Well Tuna and I went to Walmart to get a few things and I carried the laundry soap and that was not such a great idea. We got to my Mother and Father-in-laws house and my mother-in-law asked to see my incisions, when I lifted up my shirt there was blood running for my belly button. I called my sister-in-law to come over and take a peek! She helped me clean it out and told me I should call the ER and just ask them what I should do.

I called Litchfield ER and told them the hole story and the lady told me to call Willmar and see what they say about. Well needless to say I went to the Willmar Urgent Care and they cleaned it all up and the doctor told me that she could see straight into my belly. It makes me legs and arms weak to even type it. So it busted open and I am suppose to just keep it clean and make sure it doesn't get infected.

So hopefully I will be returning to work on Wednesday and I pray to God that I get my period on my own at the end of August!! I would like to say Thank You to everyone who checked up on me or called mother! As always keep us in your prayers and thoughts that this surgery will grant us with the child that we deserve! ~Love The Lange's

As tomorrow approaches

My stomach is in knot and my mind is going crazy in fear/happiness!! I fear the worst because when it comes to this part in our lives it never seems to work out just quite how we wished it would. I am scared to know there is a possibility that this might be it for us. I mean if the doctor goes in there and finds something that will prevent us from having children I am not quite sure how I would handle something like that!

I know I know...I should be thinking of the good things that could come out of this. It is sooo hard to be positive when it always seems to be negative news!! I hope and pray that the doctor will be on his 'A' game tomorrow and that everything works out!! I have faith and believe that God has a plan!!

My surgery will be at noon tomorrow afternoon in Willmar at the Surgery Center. It should take about 2 hours but could take up to 4 hours. I will have someone hopefully blog tomorrow. I might even be me..it depends how I feel I guess. I would love for everyone to say a little extra prayer for Tuna and I tomorrow!! ~Love The Lange's

1 week to go!!

I have one week until my surgery, and I am starting to get really scared about it. I have been thinking to myself "This could be it...It could really work for us!!" I mean what if this actually works!! I find myself thinking about the time when I actually can call everyone and tell them good news for once!! I mean I have dreamed about becoming pregnant for SOOOOOO long now, it actually for once feels like just maybe the dream is not out of reach!!

I still have not heard for the place where I am going to have the surgery done on what time it will be!! So as soon as I know more, I will be posting something!!

FYI the day of the surgery I will be having either my mom or my husband posting about how everything went!! So bear with whom every writes something on here!! LOL!! They will be "new" blogger!! ~ Love The Lange's

Surgery is set!

The appointment today went good! It was the first time in a long time that I didn't have a falling apart moment in or after see the doctor!! :) The surgery day will be on July,21 and not really sure of the time yet I have to wait for the surgery center to call me. I am extremely nervous to have this done,but excited at the same time. I hope this drilling works and that I can get my cycle back to "normal" on my own!! The doctor told me that it is a like a 50%-60% chance this the drilling will cause me to get my period on my own and ovulate!! Keeping my fingers and toes crossed!!

The doctor told me this this surgery will take about 3-4 hours and I will be going home the same day weather or not they find anything will doing the surgery!! They will be looking to make sure there are no cyst or scar tissue! They also will be doing an ovarian drilling. The drilling is done laparoscopy and they use a laser needle and puncture my ovary 4 to 10 times. In doing this procedure it should dramatically lower the male hormones. This surgery could be VERY helpful!!

Thankz to everyone for being here for me when I need you guys the most!! ~Love The Lange's

Selfish or not?!?!?!

I have thought long and hard about the about the journey I am about to embark on! I have decided to go ahead with the surgery and the series of shots. The reason I decided to do it is because in reality this is our only option. The In-Vitro is out of our price range.

So the surgery would entail a laparoscopic ovarian drilling and to have them look in my body to make sure everything looks okay. If they happened to find something then they will take care of it right then and there. If everything goes as planned then I will be leaving the same day. The reason for doing the drilling is because 80% of the time it will trigger ovulation!

If the drilling doesn't make me ovulate on my own, then there is another thing we can try. This would be the series of shots, which is VERY high risk. I do/would feel kind of selfish using the shots. The reason is because I think to myself that with the shots there is a 90% chance that you would become pregnant with MORE then twins. This is extremely scary for me to think about. I already have high blood pressure and the more kids you have in your body they higher you blood pressure gets. I am just scared that i will have to make some really hard choices if worst comes to worst. But I can't let that stop me from moving forward. Life is not easy, so why would this be easy...right????

I will be going to the doctor this coming Friday 9th to talk about my option and set everything up. So I will know more about all this then!! Keep me in your prayers and thoughts on Friday!! ~ Love The Lange's

New Necklace!!

If some of you may remember I had an older posting about fertility jewelry. I can across this necklace a while back and saved it to my favorites on my task bar. I loved the necklace the moment I saw it, but then forgot all about it. My mother-in-law asked me about it last week! So I went back to the website and it was GONE!!! I thought to myself CRAP i really wanted it. So I did a little research and found out that the lady who makes all the jewelry was just an every day women. I found out her contact info and sent her an email about the fertility necklace she use to have on her website!!!

She sent me an email back expressing her thankz in my interest in her jewelry. She said that necklace with shipping would normally be $67.00 but would give it to me for only $47.00 with shipping. I was sooo thankful for that. So I called my mother-in-law and told her to call the lady and give her the credit card information.

So in call her my mother-in-law told the lady to put a little extra "power/prayer" in to this piece because Tuna and I had been trying for soo long and the only thing we wish for is to become pregnant!

I got the necklace tonight and there was a handwritten note with the box that was sooo cute with a bow and everything! The note said....."I hope that Vanessa becomes pregnant soon! This necklace is on me,there will be NO charge to you account. Thank You."

I was in tears...Who does that these days????????? I feel so blessed to know that there are people out there in the world who care and don't even know who I am. I go to bed tonight feeling so thankful!! ~Love The Lange's

Step by step,Day by day

The decision to go off all the pills and let my body just relax,it is easier said then done! I have had a really tough time just trying to let myself relax and stop thinking about everything. It seem that the more I try not to think about it the more I think about it.

I know deep down that the only realistic solution is to have the In-Vitro done! It makes me sick and depressed to know that it is totally not an option for us. The coast to have that done is $25,000 which we don't have.

This quote rings in the back of my head each and every day. "God will make you guys parents and bless you with a child when the time is right!" So does that mean there is not right time for us? It honestly makes feel like I have shorted my husband the chance to have children!

I almost everyday look in the mirror and imagine myself with a "baby bell." I can only hope and pray that it will someday come true. People tell me all the time not to give up,but it is sooo hard not to. I think to myself "WHY ME?"

As always keep us in your thoughts and prayers!! Thanks to everyone who has shown us support! ~Love The Lange's

It Has Come To A Screeching Halt

I have decided to come to a screeching halt with everything. I am no longer going to take any more pills or vitamins that the doctor has given me. I am going to just let my body rest for a few months and see what happens. I can only hope and pray that my body will go back to "normal!" I would love to get my period on my own and ovulate but the chances of that happening are highly unlikely!! But hey it is worth a try!

I most likely will end up doing the In-Vitro Fertilization in the future. I just need a little time to see how we can afford the coast of this operation. I am willing to do whatever it takes to have a baby!!

On a side note...It gets me really pissed off when people write or say stuff about their kids! I often see it on facebook or hear people saying it. Comments like "My kids are sooo naughty...I am giving them away for free!" Or "I am sooo sick of my kids!" I just want to say to people sometime, you should be thankful and feel bless to have to children! There are many out there that would love to have children and can't!! I mean I know that kids can be a hand full sometimes and people just need a break. But honestly just look at your kids and be THANKFUL!! ~Love The Lange's

Need some time to just think!!

My appointment yesterday went just as I thought it would. The eggs didn't grow! :( So we are now back at square one once again. I really wish just once something could go the ways it should.

I have a few options of things I could do now at this point in our journey! The first thing being to have a surgery done. The surgery would entail me having my ovaries drilled and in some case that just brings on ovulation on it own. This surgery is a most before I could start the series of fertility shots. The shots are something that the doctor doesn't think is such a great idea! The reason is because you have a 97% chance you would get pregnant with more then twins. It is not idea to have multiplies in any ones case but in my case it is worse! My high blood pressure already puts me at a higher risk then most people. In the end it is up to me though. I also think to myself by the time I do the surgery and the series of shots, I could have spent that money on doing the In-Vitro Fertilization!

The second options is of course the In-Vitro Fertilization! I know deep down inside this is the best choice for us and so does the doctor. I only problem is the $$$$$ it is soooooooooo much money to do that.

I guess I just need a little while to think what we should do. I want to be sure about the decision we make. I don't want to pick something to just pick something. I WANT A BABY!!! I feel hopeless at this point! I feel so alone and wish that everything could just work for us. The day I can hold a baby in my arms and have someone to love with all that I have seems like just a dream these days!! ~Love The Lange's

Marley and Me!!

Welcome everyone the newest little audition to the Lange family!! He is a mini Yorkshire mixed with a mini poodle! He is about 6months old and as big as he is most likely going to get! I am so thankful for the people who decide he was not a fit in their family and gave him to me!! I brought him home yesterday May 28 and his frist night with us went well. ~Love The Lange's

To Small

The tests today were nothing like I thought they would be!! They did an ultrasound first and then I had the HSG done. I was told that HSG was painful,but it wasn't at all. They got both tests done in like an hour or so. They called doctor at home and he said that from the results he got I would need to come back on Tuesday for another ultrasound. The reason I need to come back is because there was egg development but they were to small. He is hoping over the weekend they will grow a little bit bigger so that we can take the other shot to start ovulation. I REALLY REALLY hope that it is to early and the eggs do grow. The good thing is that there were eggs there today! :-)

I hope everyone has a safe and fun memorial day weekend!! I will be posting something on Tuesday after my ultrasound. ~Love The Lange's

Leaving A Comment

I really love when people leave me comments on my blog postings. I feel sooo blessed to know that people take a few minute out of their busy day to look at our blog. So I want to Thank all of you for doing that it really means a lot to us. We have had everyone from close friends and family to people we knew from high school contact us. I will be honest I was not sure about this hole 'Blog' thing at first,but I am sure glad I decided to do it. I blessed to have enough courage to share my story with everyone. I feel almost free after I publish a posting, it is a relief to get it off my chest and not keep it bottled up inside.

In deciding to make this blog i knew it would be an easy way for everyone to keep up to date with everything that is going on in our journey. I knew that it would be fine for me to give details and feel comfortable to share our story with out hiding anything. The hole point behind this was to say whatever I wanted to say and share the feeling I may have on any given day.

I almost feel sad for the person who decided it would be a good idea to leave me a negative comment on my last posting. If you have an option that is completely fine, but this is MY blog to say and share whatever I feel or think. The only problem I have is that they decided to be "Anonymous" and not have enough guts to sign their name to the comment. I really wanted this blog to be a positive thing in my life. So in the future if you decide you don't like what I have to say, then maybe just not read the blog anymore or keep your negative comments to yourself. Like we learned in grade school "If you don't have nothing nice to say... than don't say anything at all!!!!"

So please please keep the positive comments coming we really enjoy them!! I hope that I don't have to end up making this blog a "private" blog. That won't be fair to the people who enjoy share in our journey with us. I was also going to tell you all that I will be going to the doctor to have the testing done that I talked about in a few postings back. If everyone could keep us in their prayers and thoughts on Thursday that would be great!! ~Love The Lange's

PINHEADS

I can now laugh at this story I am about to tell all of you. At first I was not so happy about this situation but now when I look back I am just amazed at the dumbness of some people.

The doctor sent in a prescription to the Litchfield Walmart Pharmacy for three shots on Tuesday after my appointment. I was told that the shots that I needed they wouldn't have on hand, and would need to be shipped over night from somewhere in the cities. On Tuesday evening when I got home from the doctor I called the pharmacy to see how much everything was going to coast. I knew that it was going to be a little bit pricey. The doctor didn't want me to run the prescriptions though insurance. The reason being that the insurance company will only cover 1 prescription. So weather the prescription is 1 shot or 20 shots they will only cover 1 prescription. So we would rather pay out of pocket this time for 3 shots and in hopes it works. If the shots work but we didn't conceive, then he can give us a prescription for 20 shots and the insurance would pick that prescription up!!!! I would rather pay for 3 shots then 20 shots. I really hope that is just works this first time!!(keeping my fingers crossed) So the amount they told me was $300.00 for all three shot.

On Wednesday morning I went to the pharmacy to get them and they had not arrived yet. So I went to work and went back after I got out of work. When my mother and I got there they had them all ready for me. They give me this BIG bag of stuff and I kind of thought it was weird but didn't say anything. The lady rang everything up and we paid and went on our marry way though Walmart. My mom decide to try some shorts on and I took a sit on the bench. I then opened the bag and took out this big box. I opened the box and looked inside and there were 10 shots in each box,I had 2 boxes. My mom came out of the fitting room and I said "Mom...This is not right...I am only suppose to have 3 shots not 20?!?!?!" So we went back to the pharmacy, I told them that this was not right. They looked at me like a deer in the headlights. The man working said "What do you mean it isn't right?" I said "I am only suppose to have 3 shots and there are 2 boxes with 10 shot in each box!!!" In the mean time I had tried to call the doctor, but of course they were in surgery that day. I told the man "I want my money back and I will have the doctor call you tomorrow!!" They gave me my money back...and I was pissed off when I left there. I mean REALLY people don't you know how to do your job???? I think if I did my job half-assed like that I would get fired. I am sure glad I knew what I was suppose to be getting and that the doctor makes sure you understand what is going on before you leave his office.

This morning the doctor called me. He said "Vanessa are there any other pharmacies in Litchfield??" I said "Yes,why?" He then told me "I will not be sending prescriptions for you or anyone that i see to the Walmart ever again!!" I was shocked to hear that and said okay. I know Walmart doesn't have the most friendly people working there but they are cheapest place in town. He then told me "They have some really PINHEADS working there!!" I started to laugh in amazement that he would say that. We finally got it all figured out and I got my shots but not from Litchfield I had to drive to Willmar this afternoon to get them. So I really really hope they work!!

The point of story besides being kind of funny, is that WALMART PHARMACY is STUPID!! I will no longer being going there. Thank God that I didn't leave the store with these shots and was able to get my money back. I would love it if you guys could keep us in your prayers this coming week in hopes that this actually works for us. ~Love The Lange's

50/50 Chance!!

The appointment today went alright I guess. I was told today the next step we are going to try had a good chance of working 50/50. I don't want to get my hopes up to high just to be let down in the end. As far as i know we could be the 50% that it doesn't work for.

I will be taking the "trial pill" again this month along with a shot. I will take the pill for five days and then take the shot on fifth day with the last dose of pills. The shot is $250.00 and it is suppose to produce the eggs.

I will also be having a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram)! In a nut shell means they will be taking a dyed x-ray of my uterus and fallopian tubes. This way they will be able to tell if the eggs were produced.

If the eggs were produced I will need to give my self another shot to get them active. If all goes as planned (keeping fingers crossed) on Memorial Day Tuna and I will be going in to have the IUI done.

I think that I said what the IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) was but can't remember! They thread a very thin flexible catheter though my cervix and inject the sperm directly into my uterus. Then with a lot of praying hopefully a baby will start to grow!!!!

I am soooooooo thankful for such a nice doctor to come in on memorial day to do all of this for us. He gave us his home number just in case we have any question over the long holiday weekend. This is coming from a doctor who see around 50-75 people a day! As always keep us in your thoughts and prayers!! ~Love The Lange's

Dreams

Some dream of big houses

or shiny new cars.

Our is to someday hold a baby

that's ours.

Some dream of more money

to hoard and to keep.

Mine is to someday

rock my baby to sleep.

Some dream of careers

in building so tall.

His is to someday

toss his kid a baseball.

Some dream of great power

to be strong and tough.

Our is to someday

have a child to love.

Some dream of thing

such as silver and gold.

Our is of the day

our child we'll hold.

Someone who is anonymous sent me this poem. I LOVE it so much!! Thank you who ever you are. It is sooooo nice!! I will be going to the doc on the 18th, so until then!! ~Love The Lange's

Mixed-Emotions



I finally got the call from the nurse yesterday!! Emotions were running though my body the hole phone call. I could feel my heart pumping, my voice shaking, and my nerves bunched in my stomach. The news that I had been waiting days to hear were on the tip of her tongue. She finally spit it out..."Doc. Bucannon said that the IUI IS an option for you guys but, there are a few restrictions!" My first thought was 'of course there are restrictions..does anything ever go the way we want??'






I will be going to the Doctor again on May,18 to see what all the restrictions are and how this hole thing works. All I know is that I have to have an X-Ray and Ultrasounds to see if my Fallopian Tubes are able to release the eggs properly. If the tubes are blocked which is common in PCOS, they will have to do a drilling to open them up. So hopefully everything will be fine and work our way for once. So the mixed emotions are in full peak, kind of like the allergy season!! My thoughts and body this past week have been numb. The feeling of not having a complete family weighs VERY heavy on me. We are sooo ready to have a baby and are deserving of one!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as always! ~ Love The Lange's

Fertility Jewelry?!?!?!

On the TLC's 'A Baby Story' the other day, there was a lady who had some infertility issues. The couple had been trying to conceive a baby for over two years with no luck. They said that they had received a fertility bracelet from a member of the family. They swear up and down that the fertility bracelet had made them fertile and they were pregnant with in 5 months!

This peaked my interest, so I decided to do a little searching on the net to see what i could find. Almost all the sites I looked at had bracelets and necklaces that were the beaded type(not my style) of jewelry!! After looking for some time I did find a few things that I liked. I found a necklace that I really really like. I think it is very interesting and different, just like me. The little moonstones are suppose to be enhances feminine energies!!(helping with fertility) The moonstones are clustered together with the thought of eggs inside of ovary! I am not sure how much truth is behind jewelry helping with fertility,but hey what does it hurt to try!!

The second thing I found was a bracelet, I am not much of the bracelet wearing type. I found this bracelet to be very nice looking and something that I would actually wear. It has to little rose quartz gem which is said to help promote and support a new pregnancy and protect the tender new life from miscarriage. Also to balance our emotions through an often tough journey to conceive a much wanted baby. There is also a little blue moonstone gem and a little sea turtle gem. The little sea turtle is symbol of fertility and protection. A small little touch that I like as well is, there is a small sliver tag that is able to be customised to say whatever you want. One of the examples they give would be "fertility blessings" which would be supper cute and very neat.

I also was going to tell you guys that I should be hearing from the doctor tomorrow (Thursday) to see what he has to say about the IUI. I hope that he has some good news for us and tells us that is a option. If you have any thoughts on the jewelry or know of anyone who wears it, be sure to let me know about their stories. As always keep us in your thoughts and prayer!! ~Love The Lange's

ZOMBIE

This past weekend I feel like i have been walking around like a zombie numb to the world. I know that so many of you have reached out to me and offered support,but I still feel like I am very much ALONE. I know that Tuna is scared and worried just as much as I am, but he doesn't really know what to say when I have my moments of "falling apart."

I had the courage to contact someone that I didn't know all that well really and ask her about their journey with infertility. I was told that you could have a different operation done call IUI(Intra-Uterine Insemination) or also called artificial insemination. The coast to have this done is WAY less and insurance might cover some of this. I really hope this is an option for us.

I tried to call the doctor this morning to see if the IUI may be an option for us. But I am not really sure yet. He was of course out of the office today, so the nurse will be calling me tomorrow sometime. I really hope that I can get some answers really soon. If the IUI is not an option, I will be asking for a referral to the In-Vitro Fertilization clinic.

I will be posting something tomorrow if I hear back from the doctor. I really hope i can get some positive answers tomorrow. Again please keep us in your prayers and thoughts. ~Love The Lange's

THE NEXT STEPS

I know I said that I would post something on Friday after my appointment, but it was not a great day yesterday! I went to the doctor knowing that I would more then likely end up leaving there upset. At the visit I was given a few different options that I could pick from. The doctor told me that the NEXT STEPS were going to be very hard for me to choose from. I was so happy to have the support of my mother and mother-in-law with me at this appointment.

The 1st choice that he gave us was to try a series of shots. These shots are VERY high risk and he wouldn't recommend doing them,but are still and option. With these shots your chance of having multiples is increased by 65%-70% which can cause many complications. It can also become pricey and in most cases not give you the end result you want. The coast of the series of shots are about $300.00 a piece and you could need to take up to 15 of the shots. Insurance will cover 5-7 of the shots. Tuna and I have decided that this is not the best option for us. It is VERY high risk and I am already considered high risk due to my high blood pressure,PCOS, and being over weight.

The 2nd option he gave us was to keep taking the clomid and on the last day of clomid for the month take a 'minni' shot to bust the chances of the clomid working the next month!! In his words "This has a VERY VERY poor chance of working!" The coast would be $600.00 out of pocket for the shot,plus the coast of clomid for another month! So we have decided that this option is pretty much like taking 6 $100.00 bills and letting them go in the wind! I don't know about you..but I don't just have $600.00 to let go.

The 3rd option pushed me over board!!!!!! IN-VITRO FERTILIZATION!! This is a TOTAL out of pocket coast of around $10,000-$25,000(which may be refundable,if it doesn't work). When those numbers came out of his mouth,I lost it right then and there!! For those of you who don't know what in-vitro fertilization entails..they start by giving you self-injections of medication to produce many eggs. The eggs are then taken out by a small needle and they fertilize with sperm and hopes they marry with in 2-3 days. When they find one or two of them that have "married" they go back in and implant them in my uterus in hopes they will start to grow!

I asked the doctor what he thought the best choice was. He told me "the in-vitro fertilization is the best choice,but i have the money to do it." So as of right now we really have not decided what we are going to do. But in the next coming weeks I will be call my insurance and seeing what they all over. I am hoping that my insurance will cover at least a consultation at the in-vitro clinic.

I will be keep everyone up to date about our feeling on all of these new changes in our journey. I hope with in the next month or so we can get this all figured out and see what the coast of everything will be and what kind of financial plans the clinics offer. I also will be trying very hard to go out of my comfort zone and contacting other women who have had in-vitro done. Please continue to pray for us to have the strength to reach out to other and to help us make the right decisions!! ~Love The Lange's

I know now....

In the last posting I had said something to you about the Clomid pill. Well how that all works is you most have a period to take that pill. So that is why I got the shot to start my (fake period..mean it is not natural..they had to give me something to get it, and I don't ovulate because it is fake) so that I could take the Clomid. In my case I would start counting the first day of my "fake" period as day 1 and on the 5th-9th day I would take the Clomid. In hopes that next month I would get my period on my own. They want to you start on the lowest mg. that they offer, and work your way up. So the first month I started with 50mg. for 5 days and hoped for the best the next month. I did that for many months, I would go back to the doctor and start it all over again the next month going up in mg. by 50 every time. I finally maxed out with 250mg a day, so in the 5 day span i was taking 1250mg. Clomid is a fertility medication, so most people just take it when they get their period and most often get pregnant. But for someone with PCOS it is suppose to get this back on track. My body has a mind of it's own I guess. I know it is a bit confusing, took me a long time to understand. I hope I did a good enough job trying to explain it to you guys!!! :)

SO I KNOW NOW....that that new trial pill I was on didn't work! Someone who has PCOS and was on the strongest dose of Clomid, the chances of this trial pill working was not in my favor. The chances of this trial pill working was only 1 out of 3 women. I knew that my chances were not the best but it was worth a shot. The next steps we will be taking are going to be getting a little more pricey.

This coming Friday the 30th I will return to the doctor. We will be discussing the next steps in our journey. I am getting a little scared to go this time because it is the unknown. Since August I would pretty much know what was going to happen every time I would go back to the doctor. This time I know we will be talking about a series of shots. All I really know about them is the chance of having multiples go WAY WAY up, I think like it is 65% chance. I will be posting sometime on Friday after my appointment. So until then keep us in your prayers and thoughts in the next coming days!! ~Love The Lange's

Babies Babies Every Where...Why Not Me??

I often feel like where ever I go I see someone who is pregnant. I try my VERY best not to let it get to me. In most cases I just blow it off and go on with my day. Other days it consumes my every thought and emotion. I have set a goal to not think to myself when I see someone who is pregnant...Why her and not me? I hear people say to me ALL the time "when the time is right...God will give you a baby!" Well what if I never get pregnant does that mean that it was never the right time, or that I wasn't meant to be a mother?!? I know deep down that I need to keep faith and pray that there is a 'right' time.

Tuna and I both believe in god,but don't go to church on a normal bases. I know that God loves us wether we are at church or sitting in our living rooms. I know that we need to make a little extra time in our lives to go. This past weekend we went to North Dakota to my cousins wedding. At the wedding serves the pastor said a prayer and then had a moment of silence for your own prayer. I didn't think much of it..I said my prayer and watched the bride and groom become husband and wife. After the wedding was over we were waiting to be let out. Tuna leaned over and said to me "I have to tell you something." Okay I said "During the silent prayer I said..God I know I don't pray much but, I really wish we could get pregnant!!" I felt a wave of emotion come over me and said "I said the same thing!" So anyways I just thought I would share that kind of neat story with you!!

Again please keep us in your prayers and thoughts! ~Love The Lange's

The First Posting!!

So I have decided to start a blog believe it or not!! The reason is so that I can keep friends and family updated on the progress/lack of progress on our road with infertility. Some of you may not know our story, so I will start by telling it. Tuna and I knew each from high school..but never really talked. He was a year older then me and and I was WAY to good for him, so I thought! The summer after I graduated from high school my close friend Amanda and I started to hung out with a bunch of "new" people in that group was Tuna. We all hung out though the summer of 2004..and I started to date Tuna!! We dated for almost 1 year and he proposed to me!

The proposal was a total surprise to me..some how everyone kept a secret from me which is kind of hard to do!! I wouldn't say the proposal was the most romantic, but that is Tuna and that is why I love him..he loves the little things! He had just started at his current job at Farm Rite and we were still living at my mother's house. He called me from work and said he need to go to St.Cloud after work to pick something up for this "job", needless to say I was less then impress at the time! He got to my mother's house and hide the ring box in his hat. Came in to my room and sit next to me on the bed and said "I bought something for you today!!" I said "what is it?" well..."it is a ring..will you marry me?" my response was "How did you pay for it?" LOL!! Like I said it was not the most romantic, but that is not what mattered!

We planned a Saturday,October 28,2006 wedding! It was beautiful fall day. We had our closest family and friends there! Our wedding a pretty good size you could say..we each had 6 attendants on each side and 3 ring bears. It will be a day that I will never forget!

Sometime about year in to our marriage we started talking about have children. So we decided to start trying. I never thought we would have any problems trying to conceive a baby! I knew that my cycle was NEVER normal, but didn't give it much thought. So we "tried" on our own for a 5 months and then I decided that I should go to the doctor for some help. When I found out there was nothing they would do for you until you had "Medically" had been trying for a year. We did that with no luck on our own! So I went back to the doctor and he is a great doctor but just a general family doctor. So I decided to go see a fertility doctor. I was diagnosed with PCOS(Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Which in a nut shell means I only get a few periods though the year and most likely don't ovulate.

So we started on a pill back in August,2009 called "Clomid" which is a fertility medication. In my case though it was suppose to help me get my cycle back to normal! So every month I would go back to the doctor and get a shot in my butt to start my "Fake" period, so I could take the medication in hope I would get my period on my own the next month. We tried that in for many months with now luck!

So this past month now March,2010 we started a new trial pill. This pill is a one time thing..If he works it works if it doesn't it doesn't! So we will see I go back to the doctor on April,30 2010! To see if it worked and if not what the next option is! Until then...Keep up in your prayers!! ~The Lange's